By Wendy L. Hawksley
I am falling into the God/dess trap more and more.
My husband scolds our son if he says “Oh my god”.
My son scolds me if I say “Help me Goddess!”
I tell my son that it is OK to invoke deity, as long as it isn’t in an insulting or negative manner (i.e. goddamn it).
And now we are getting into questions about nature – why are all frogs different colors? Why do people look different?
And my response of “because the Goddess made them that way” no longer suffices.
However, it isn’t just a simple matter of having to address issues from a scientific point of view now. That is not a problem. I can easily explain skin pigmentation, animal habitats, adaptation, and evolution.
Now what I’m starting to wonder is how to explain religion to my son.
When he was born, we always knew he would be free to make a choice about his own spiritual path. Both my husband and I agree that our goal was to give him the information he would need to make such a decision. So as words like God and Goddess get tossed around our home (my husband and I greatly enjoy theological debate and discussion), our son is catching on and turning in.
Where do I go from here?
This was easier when we had a UU church to attend, but now we are in another country. But even with a UU or child-friendly Pagan group, are not the parents responsible for their child’s spiritual upbringing?
Suddenly I am faced with the age of questioning. “Why” is the popular one. It is inevitably followed by what, when, where, who, and/or how.
In this instance, the “who” is the Goddess and the God. And the “how” is the method through which I will teach my son about them.
Each individual family must ask themselves the same questions their children ask.
What is the point of religious instruction?
Which spirituality (or spiritualities) will be taught?
Why will it be taught?
How will it be taught?
Who will teach it?
And who are the central figures of the religion (Goddess, God, the deities of a particular pantheon, Orishas, Saints, etc.)?
These are the initial questions to ponder when a child’s view of the world moves to the wider “why”.
For now I’ll hold tight to my copy of “Circle Round”, ponder these questions, and see where this journey takes us!
A few resources for the Pagan parent:
Circle Round: Raising Children in Goddess Traditions, by Starhawk, Diane Baker & Anne Hill, Bantam (2000)
A Witch’s Primer: Grade 1, by Lorin Manderly, AuthorHouse (2005)
Raising Witches: Teaching the Wiccan Faith to Children, by Ashleen O’Gaea, New Page (2002)
Oh, I’m am totally in this place. I keep thinking I need to get to the UU church nearby, but I need to figure out my own theology before I can teach my kids. It’s hard, too, because we are surrounded by family and friends who are devout Christians who undermine our efforts.
.-= Heather´s last blog ..Hell-Mart and Princess Bad Biscuit =-.
The way I am going to handle it, is to say,” well some people believe this, and others believe this”. I will use that as a springboard to teach my girls about all the religions of the world, and then let them know that they can pick one that makes sense to them, or choose none at all. The most important thing to me is that they have a SENSE of spirituality. How they express that is entirely up to them, and I want to show them the freedom they have in this area. Paganism/witchcraft happens to be just right for me, but it might not be right for them. We are all headed in the same direction, we just happen to be driving different cars to get there.
I am so glad I am not the only one facing this problem! I feel now I am starting to figure out exactly where my beliefs are. I am on the verge of turning 29. I would like my children to have a sense before this age only bc I do believe earlier is better. I know we all go through life to get where we are. I always wondered if I had known about this sooner..where would I be spiritually. Some days I feel like I am playing catch up.
My point lol with my long windedness. Starting January 1st. I am starting “spiritual teachings”. I follow a Pagan Green Path, my husband deviates slightly, not so much green. I am going to teach them on every Sunday (bc that is our one free day) about each religious Holiday in the month. Such as New Years, Epiphany that is catholic etc and so on for all the religions. It is a big undertaking. I can do it.
I may not go completely in depth for each one. I definitely want to touch on each one. I have a 10 year, almost 5, and almost 2 yr old boys. I was going to go the food route, coloring,music etc, research for the 10 yr old bc he loves to research stuff. That way they can make an informed choice when they get older.
Thank you for the responses! Our idea is to rear our son with an understanding of our religious beliefs, but to allow him to be free to make his own choices. It is all a matter of the “when” and “how” for us!
.-= Wendy Hawksley´s last blog ..Gladiatorial Games =-.
I stumbled upon your site, and I’m so glad I found it! We write about so many of the same issues…it makes me feel good that we as Pagans are coming out and sharing our knowledge. You’ve got a lot to share, and I’ll be following your blog:)
-Fae
.-= Fae´s last blog ..Fae – Runes, Runes Everywhere… =-.
Well I am currently raiseing 3 children in all eyes of religion and I let them guide me. 2 years ago my daughter who is now 9 became deathly afaird of witches so away went my wiccan books and tools. We then went religion searching. We went to a Baptist church, a catholic church, read all sorts of religion books. This year my daughter started asking about my religion and I told her that I am a witch and practice Wicca. Well she has since wanted to learn about it so that is where we are now. My youngest two who are now 6 and 5 have always been to young to care until this year so as a family we are learning together and praciceing wicca. But we still go to other places of worship and read all we can. I think this works for my family because I never show any religion as wrong.